Daylight swing pirates

Movie Review: Daylight (1996)

If this movie hadn't have shown on TV, and if I hadn't have had anything better to do, I never would have watched it. A typical Stallone action movie I figured. And it was, although it wasn't all that bad. Stallone plays a former disgraced EMS commander who is drawn back into action when a catastrophic series of explosions caves in a major tunnel under the Hudson River in New York. Sly must team up with rag-tag band of survivors to escape before the tunnel floods. I've read that this is pretty much a remake of the Poseidon Adventure but, as I haven't seen that, can't vouch for it. This turns out to be better than I thought it would be. Sly's character is, thankfully, the silent type and his role depends more on his actions than his bad line readings. It was fun to see Viggo Mortensen in an admittedly brief pre-LOTR role. The somewhat silly final escape is balanced out by the spectacular explosions and fire that begin the whole escapade. 7/10

Movie Review: Swing Girls (2004)

Pretty much your basic sports genre movie wrapped in a tuba. A bunch of misfits gets together and through a series of montages become great at what they do. You know the drill. This movie followed on the heels of the very successful movie 'Water Boys'. I wouldn't hesitate to call this movie the female version of that. A bunch of girls inadvertently end up giving their school's entire brass band club a bad case of food poisoning. Figuring it will be a good excuse to get out of their other classes (apparently the band club doesn't have to attend regular classes) they all join the club. The only problem is that none of them can play any instruments. Except for the 2 punk girls who play electric guitars. Of course they're all terrible but they end up falling in love with playing instruments. The regular band members recover and suddenly the new girls are on their own again. Some of them decide to make their own band and play swing music, thus the Swing Girls are born. For reasons unknown to me the 2 punk girls join this band too. It's strange because a) it's not their style of music and b) why would they want to join a band when the others can't even play their instruments yet? The most impressive thing about this movie is that all the music in it is performed by the actresses. Many of them couldn't play any instruments before this film and had to learn. 6/10

Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
This is a very fun, action-filled movie. Even better than the first one. Johnny Depp is great as usual. This time his character Captain Jack Sparrow must confront Davy Jones and his crew of cursed, mutated sea thingies. There's also a Kraken which is far better than the one in 'Clash of the Titans'. Davy Jones and his crew are entirely CGI creations but they still perform better than Orlando Bloom, the weakest link in this story. The mythological world of the Pirates really shines in this movie and I'm looking forward to seeing the 3rd one. 8/10

Book Review: 100 Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marques

How long did it take me to finish this book? A year? I was 3/4 of the way through this book when I left it on a train one day. 6 months later I found an e-book version on the Internet and started again from about the halfway point. It's no wonder that García Márquez won the Nobel Prize for Literature, this book is fantastic. It tells the history of a fictional small town in Columbia from it's first settlers to it's final inhabitants. One influential family is present the entire time and this book follows them through several generations. It's both funny and poignant. It does get a little confusing though because the same names are continually used for each member of the family. For example, there are 5 Jose Arcadios and a staggering 20 Aurelianos. Still, this is a definite must read book.

Waiting for famous hitchhikers

Movie Review: Almost Famous - Bootleg Edition (2000)

The longer, director's cut of the movie. Having seen the original quite a few years ago I only noticed 1 new scene. The movie follows a brighter-than-average teen who gets his big break to write for Rolling Stone magazine. His first assignment is to follow around Stillwater, a band on the verge of making it big. He befriends, the band, their band-aids, and is privy to all the excitement, politics, and in-fighting that follows the group across the country. This longer version is still fantastic and quite possibly the best rock n' roll movie ever. The music is great and it's amazing to think how the actors played all their own instruments and did a multitude of performances to prepare for their big concert scenes. The story is based on the real life experiences of the film's director, Cameron Crowe. 9/10

Movie Review: Waiting for Guffman (1996)

Directed by, and starring, Christopher Guest (the mind behind that other great rock movie, This is Spinal Tap) 'Waiting for Guffman' is a hilarious, nearly completely improvised comedy. With a cast including Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara (of SCTV fame) it's easy to see how such a project would succeed. Without cracking a smile, the cast persorms the ridiculous story of an no-talent, former New York theatre drama as he casts a crazy ensemble of not just untalented, but plain awful local actors in a musical that he hopes will make it to broadway. It's all played very serious which makes it all the more funny. 8/10

Movie Review: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
I really like the original BBC radio play and I really like the err, trilogy of books. I really didn't like this movie though. The only funny moments in the movie are the cut scenes where computer graphics would demonstrate small entries from the Guide. I'm sure that many were disappointed. 5/10

A mixed bag of nuts

Movie Review: Aikido: The Path Beyond Thought (2001)
I've never had the best impression of Steven Seagal. He's famous for hurting his stuntmen and a lot of the things he's said in the past are pretty unbelievable ie - he was a hitman for the CIA. His aikido is excellent though. I've seen him do a demonstration once before in Japan but this video is full of him showing off his stuff. After he was declared to be the reincarnation of a Buddhist monk he began to wear Tibetan style clothes and it is strange to see him practicing aikido in these threads. Only of real interest to Aikido practicioners. 8/10

Movie Review: Ken Park (2002)
Another film from Larry Clark and Harmony Korine, the minds behind such whimsical romps as 'Kids' and 'Gummo'. Like those films 'Ken Park' is about a group of young teens in what seems to be a relatively small town. They all seem to come from problematic and violent homes. The openning scene shows a skateboarding kid blow his brains out in the middle of a skate park. Other, quite graphic, scenes show the kids drinking, doing drugs, being beaten by their parents, having sex with each other, masturbating, and maybe even smoking a cigarette or two. It's very powerful stuff and, to give credit to the cast, seems very realistic. Thematically it seems the same as Clark and Korine's earlier movies although it's a bit more shocking and graphic. 7.5/10

Movie Review: Swimming Pool (2003)
This French film is about a British crime novelist who stays at a beautiful house in France while writing her latest book. Her publisher's daughter (it's the publisher's house) unexpectedly turns up and intends to stay at the house as well. She is not shy in the least bit and enjoys sunbathing topless and bringing home various men to coucher with her. Of course, as per the rules of Angela Lansbury and 'Murder She Wrote', where a crime novelist goes can a crime be far behind? Did I mention there's a swimming pool too? A fun, sexy movie but the twist at the end isn't too unpredictable. 6.5/10

Looking for love, and diamonds.

Movie Review: The Wedding Crashers (2005)
Owen Wilson & Vince Vaughn are two best friends who specialize in crashing weddings in order to pick up girls. They have a long list of various rules to help them out but everything comes crashing down when Wilson actually falls in love with his intended prey. These guys are very funny, especially Vaughn, who's forte is to play a sleazy, fast talker. Wil Ferrell has a nice little role as the wedding crashers' mentor who has become even shallower - picking up girls at funerals. The movie is good for a laugh but the story is so predictable that you'll know what's gonna happen by the time the openning credits roll. 7/10

Movie Review: The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)
This movie is far better than it should be. Steve Carell plays the nerdy 40 year old with no real goals in life. No real goals other than to increase his collection of valuable toys and action figures that is. When the other guys at his work find out he's a virgin they set out to 'help' him. There are lots of laughs and many real tender moments as well. I knew Carell was really funny but I didn't know how sympathetic a character he could be too. 8/10

Movie Review: The Pink Panther (2006)
The first movie I've seen from 2006. Steve Martin plays the infamous Inspector Clouseau in this prequel to the original series. I'm a big fan of the original series. I like Kevin Kline. I like Jean Reno. For the most part, I like Steve Martin. However, I didn't like this movie. It just wasn't funny. For one thing there was no Kato. For another, Martin's accent is just horrible, and not in a funny way either. If you haven't seen this one yet I'd stay away from it and stick with the classics. Vivre Peter Sellers! 4/10