Ray Harryhausen Film Fest

The following films (featuring the old Hollywood magic stylings of Ray Harrhausen) were shown recently on NHK2.

Movie Review: Jason and the Argonauts (1963)

I thought this would be fun to watch with Yukiko so she could see where my name came from. However, the Japanese subtitles always had the name 'Jason' pronounced as 'Yason'. This is probably the correct Greek pronunciation but now Yukiko has taken to calling me Yason. I'm sure this was a special f/x marvel when it debuted but it is awfully dated now. Wouldn't want to have been in Harryhausen's shoes when he did the animation though. Apparently he could only complete 1/2 second of animation footage a day. Hercules was far too skinny too. I think I could have kicked his ass. 6/10

Movie Review: One Million Years BC (1966)

A beautiful, curvy Raquel Welch is the only thing going for this movie. Back in the days when primitive man + woman walked the earth, danger abounded. Be it from lack of food, cataclysmic earthquakes, hungry dinosaurs, or giant spiders. Yes, giant spiders. Add to this the challenge of having no language and you've got a movie filled with grunts that convey the entire spectrum of human feelings. Luckily none of the hapless characters had any trouble finding hair or skin products as everyone looked perfectly groomed all the time. Fun for 1 viewing as long as you swear never to watch it again. 4/10

Movie Review: Clash of the Titans (1981)

As a wee lad I was really into Greek mythology so I have a sweet spot in my heart for this movie. I remember seeing it in the theatre with my brother when it first appeared. Surprisingly, except for some weak special effects, it still holds up very well after all these years. And how couldn't it hold up, what with all the gods of Olympus, Medusa, the Stygian witches, Calibos and the unforgettable Kracken. I'd somehow forgotten the mechanical robot that Athena gives Perseus in the second act, but after watching the movie again I understand why. A highly advanced robot just doesn't fit in with the rest of the story. 7/10

Japan-centric Films

All 3 of these films were viewed at Matt Kauffman's monthly Japan-File film night in Osaka. Worth going to if you like seeing obscure Japan related movies.

Movie Review: Death Ride to Osaka
Jennifer Jason Leigh stars in this old 1983 made-for-TV movie. They must have jazzed up the home video version though because there a few topless dancer scenes included here. Supposedly based on a true story, a naive American girl signs up with a Japanese hostess club with hopes of jump starting her singing career. It only takes a short time to learn that she's not just there to sing, but to provide company for slimy, rich, old Japanese men. Any girls who resist the management receive a transfer to Osaka, never to be seen again. It's pretty campy but according to all-knowing Matt this movie caused a virtual panic in America after it was shown and the number of young women bound for Tokyo dwindled to nearly nothing. 5/10

Movie Review: Tokyo Pop
Young American singer heads to Japan with dreams of making it big. And she does, but realized she is just the most recent flavour of the month. I thought Carrie Hamilton (daughter of Princess Leia) did a really good job and her voice was very good. Sad to hear that her career didn't really go anywhere after this starring role and that she died of cancer a few years ago. 7/10

Movie Review: Tokyo Cowboy
A lonely, cowboy enthusiast Tokyoite goes to rural Canada in search of the cowgirl pen pal he wrote to as a teenager. He arrives only to find out that she's not interested in him at all. In fact she's not interested in men at all. Her mother, who he stays with, is in denial about the whole thing. Our Tokyo cowboy then falls in love with his pen pal's roommate/girlfriend and she shows some feelings for him too. Quite complicated for a simple culture clash film this movie felt like a precursor to Lost in Translation. 6/10

New Movies

Actually got the chance to see a bunch of new movies at the theatre recently. Besides the new Star Wars I was able to see:

Movie Review: The Ring 2
Definitely not as good nor as scary as the first Ring movie. Luckily it was better than the Japanese Ringu 2 which changed the killer into a virus of some sort. Apart from a few shock moments which were lifted straight from the previous Ring this one didn't have any real scary moments. The ending looked promising as it appeared that the mother may have to kill her son to save him (which would have been very powerful) but of course the movie bailed on that for the happy ending. I also don't understand why every kid in horror films these days has to try to recreate the Sixth Sense kid's personality. 5/10

Movie Review: Batman Begins
Finally, the Batman movie I've been waiting for. A darker, scarier version of the man in the mask and black cape. No nipple guards on the suit this time around. While he is definitely super haman, he is not superhuman. After each clash with criminals he looks like he's been through the meat grinder and must try to hide the bruises. What surprised me most was the humour throughout the film which worked perfectly. Morgan Freeman, as Batman's weapon designer, gave some of the best lines of the movie. My only disappointment in the film was how Bruce Wayne went through some kind of ninja training in the Himalayas. A little hokey, and not in line with the comic book character, but it explains his abilities pretty well. 9/10

Movie Review: War of the Worlds
As this was a Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise production I wasn't expecting anything too earth shattering. Perhaps that's why I was as pleased as I was. Going in with low expectations can make a movie more enjoyable. Told entirely from Tom Cruise's character's P.O.V. was an interesting choice and really connects the audience to him. The audience is just as curious about what is going on as he is. The CG was excellent and Dakota Fanning, who plays Cruise's daughter, really steals the show. 8/10

More Star Wars Madness

Movie Review: Star Wars: Clone Wars
The animated adventures of Obi-Wan, Anakin and friends. Roughly 2 hours in length, this series began on the Cartoon Network as a series of 5 min short episodes divided into 2 seasons. I didn't like the 'Samurai Jack' style of animation at first but it grew on me. The first series just shows a series of battles and situations from the Clone Wars. There's lots of action and we get to see close up how powerful the Jedi are and how adept the Clone Troopers are at fighting. Unlike the movies, here the Jedi have near god-like powers and are seemingly undefeatable. Compare the scene in Episode II when a group of nearly 100 Jedi are surrounded and nearly defeated by the Droid army to the episode here when Mace Windu, alone and without his lightsaber, defeats a much larger of robots with little difficulty. Amazing to watch but the animated Jedi seem to be on a different power scale here. The 2nd part of the series is the best part and it ties really well into Revenge of the Sith. Anakin is put through his final trial and officially becomes a Jedi Knight. General Grievous is introduced and after seeing him whip some Jedi ass the story finishes with the Robot armies attacking Coruscant and kidnapping Chancellor Palpatine. This of course is where Revenge of the Sith starts so it almost necessary viewing to fully understand the story. 8.5/10

Movie Review: Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith
Definitely the best of the new trilogy. Prequels are a tricky thing because while the audience knows what will eventually happy (in the sequels) there is plenty of room for a film maker to flesh out details and add things that will change how we perceive future events. That's exactly what Lucas did here and I think he did it well. It's very ironic that Anakin eventually crosses to the dark side for love. However, once his original incentive is gone it's a bit of a mystery why he doesn't revert back. The real weakness of this movie was the romantic dialogue between Anakin and Padme. Some of it just stunk. And not a mildly annoying stink but a 2 month old, moldy tuna sandwich kind of stink. While I'd expect this from Lucas (there were real clunker lines in Episode II) Tom Stoppard is credited with helping, if not rewriting, a lot of the dialogue. Tom Stoppard is one of my favourite playwrights, it's pretty hard to believe that the author Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead, and Shakespeare in Love could come up with this drivel. It's also interesting to see that Ron Frick is given a cinematography credit. 8.5/10

Movie Review: Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi (DVD Special Edition)
Someone recommended I watch this one after seeing the new part 3 so that I would have a better understanding of Vader's sacrifice at the end when he decides to save Luke and kill the Emperor. That was a good call. I wonder know if Vader was really trying when he fought Luke here. He defeated him easily in Episode V, but was outmatched here. Vader was supposed to be the most powerful Jedi of all but here he loses to Luke who's only had minimal training. The major change in this DVD version is the fact that Hayden Christensen's body is superimposed over the original Anakin Skywalker actor at the end of the movie when Yoda and Obi-Wan make their final bow. I know that Lucas did this to tie the two trilogies together but it really doesn't make much sense. If Anakin had redeemed himself in order to appear alongside the other Jedi again why wouldn't he show up as he was when he died? 8/10

Star Wars madness

Movie Review: Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (DVD Version)
No need to talk about this movie much, but this is my first time watching the new DVD version. Many people are complaining about how George Lucas keeps tinkering away with his movies. While I tend to agree that once a movie is released the creator should move onto other projects I don't have too big a problem with Lucas making small changes. JRR Tolkien revised a chapter of his first novel, The Hobbit, to make it fit with his second project, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and it was a great improvement. My real problem with Lucas is that he keeps making changes and says that he intends to keep doing so in the future. Sounds a bit like Microsoft and their security problems doesn't it? When will it be finally finished? This seems like a money grabbing scam because he knows all his die hard fans will buy every edition he makes so he keeps stringing them along. What most of them are clamoring for are DVD's of the original, unmodified films. Lucas refuses to release them. When the Special Edition videotapes of the trilogy were released, with new scenes, music, characters, etc, it was advertised as the 'definitive' Star Wars. Turns out not to be the case. The new DVD edition contains a few small changes. Jabba the Hutt has been re-coloured to more resemble the Phantom Menace version of himself. And the infamous 'Han Solo vs Gweedo' duel has been redone again. The ending, while exciting, still is pretty confusing though. Knowing that she is being tracked, Princess Leia still leads the Empire straight to the hidden rebel base. A great animated short about this can be seen at howitshouldhaveended.com . Still very fun though. 8/10

Movie Review: The Star Wars Holiday Special
Possibly the worst thing I've ever seen. It was a real ordeal to sit through this monstrosity. The story about this treasure is this, as a build up to the original release of Empire Strikes Back this TV special was made unleashed on the public. It was universally hated and Lucas has never allowed it to be broadcast again or distributed. The rumour is that he tried to buy every negative of the show and destroy it. There are still copies floating around the net and on Ebay though.
The story goes as such, Chewbacca is trying to get back to his home planet to celebrate Life Day. He and Han Solo are having troubles with Imperial forces though. So most of the story revolves around Chewie's family at their house. His family includes his wife Malla, father Itchy, and son Lumpy. And no, I'm not making this up. The first 10 mins of the show follows the family around their living room as they grunt, make awkward gestures, and generally do nothing. 10 mins! The original cast all make appearances, luckily brief ones. However Princess Leia has to sing a song with the wookies and it is painful to watch. There were also plenty of guest stars doing comedy, singings songs, etc... I couldn't help but feel for the members of Jefferson Starship as they appeared in a real cheesy number. You can find out more about this pile of Gungan doodo at the unofficial Star Wars Holiday Special web site. 1/10


Movie Review: Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (DVD Version)
A couple of obvious changes here. First of all, in the scene where Darth Vader talks to the Emperor, Ian McDermid (Palpatine from the new trilogy) has been inserted as the Emperor. Also, the dialogue has been changed so that the Emperor informs Vader that the young rebel who destroyed the Death Star is the son of Anakin Skywalker. Still the best of the bunch. 9/10

Movie Review: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
At least Jar-Jar Brinks was a horribly conceived CG character. What was Jake Lloyd's excuse? Actually I can't blame the kid too much. That was all Lucas' doing. The DVD shows the final kids selected for the role of Anakin and there was 1 boy who seemed great. He actually had a bit of a dark side to him. His readings were great too. Unfortunately Lucas picked the worst of the bunch. The Jedi fight with Darth Maul saved the movie. I wasn't too impressed with all the droids either. Seems like Lucas is steering away from showing humans dying as he did in the original trilogy. Methinks he is getting a wee bit soft. I didn't like the whole midiclorines thing too. Makes the force more of a scientific, measurable force than a mystical one as it was in the original trilogy. 6.5/10

Movie Review: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Stupid name but pretty good movie. Less Jar-Jar and more Jedi makes me happy. Some real clunky dialogue between Anakin and Padme but seeing Yoda in action more than makes up for that. Great to see Christopher Lee in such a strong role too. Between the new Star Wars trilogy and the Lord of the Rings trilogy he has landed some great villain roles recently. Samuel L Jackson just rocks as Mace Windu too. His purple lightsabre is super funky. 8/10

Movie Review: Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves
Caught this one on the NKH movie channel. It's been so long since I first saw it that I figured perhaps I could be more objective now than when it was first released to such bad press but big money. Despite the bad accents, hokey history and unrealistic battles this movie is pretty fun. Alan Rickman definitely steals the show. What's with Costner using a stunt-butt for his swimming scene? 6/10


Movie Review: Silmido
South Korea's top grossing movie of all time. Based on the true story of a collection of criminals that are turned into a highly trained military team of killers with only 1 mission; to kill the North Vietnamese leader. It's pretty well done but the jingoism gets a little too much. It's like a Korean version of a Michael Bay movie, lots of flag waving and nationalistic songs. 7/10


Movie Review: Team America: World Police
Trey Parker's latest opus. Thunderbirds meets South Park. A team of highly trained international agents battles terrorism at home and abroad with no regard for civilians, national monuments, political correctness, etc... All done with marionettes. For fans of South Park and people not offended easily. Puppet sex has never looked better. The soundtrack is hilarious too. 7.5/10

Movie Review: Fubar
My friend Dan showed me this little gem. I didn't know anything about it going in except that it was a small budget Canadian movie. It's a mockumentary about 2 hard rocking, hard drinking guys in a small town that are blissfully unaware of the rut they are stuck in. A little drama enters the picture when 1 of them develops testicular cancer but surprisingly the humour remains. A great little film and a classic presentation of 'traditional' Canadianese. 7.5/10


Comic Review: Star Wars: Fall of the Sith Empire
This is the big story that 'Golden Age of the Sith' led up to. Unfortunately it wasn't very exciting. The Sith's armada follows Jori Doragon's hyperspace trail back to the Republic where the invasion begins. It seems that the Sith Lord's main power is to cast illusions that make his forces seem greater than they are. Once his spell is broken, which happens because of an unbelievably large oversight, the Sith are easily defeated. Too easily. They weren't even able to conquer small worlds. Besides this major fault there is an important inconsistancy with the earlier series. In the previous series Jori escapes the Sith Empire with the aid of the Sith lord. She was on very friendly terms with him and unaware of his plans to invade the Republic. However this series begins with Jori desperately trying to warn the Republic of the coming invasion. It's never explained how she learned of this. The story ends with a Sith Lord being sent into exile and setting up a base on a moon of Yavin, which will be the Rebel base in Star Wars Episode IV. That's a neat tie-in.

Movie Review: Resident Evil: Apocalypse

About as dumb as the first one, no wait, a little bit dumber. At least the first one didn't have girls riding motorcyles off of big ramps, jumping off, and nailing various creatures with pinpoint accuracy as she fires her two pistols while flipping safely to the ground. The movie started out a little better as the events from the first film cause the inhabitants of Raccoon City to panic and try to leave the city limits only to be stopped by the Umbrella Corp's private army. This was reminiscent of the old Dawn of the Dead movies, but then it just got unbelievably stupid. Even Milla Jovovich's pointless, tacked on semi-nude scenes couldn't save this one. 6/10

Movie Review: National Treasure

What happened to Nicolas Cage? Didn't he used to appear in good films? Is he really desperate for money or what? Sean Bean is about the only redeeming thing in this national disgrace. It blatantly tries to cash in on the popularity of the book DaVinci Code. Cage deciphers old Templar writings and gleams that the secret of the legendary Templar treasure is revealed on the back of the American Constitution. So they have to steal it, before the bad guys do. The stupidity is pretty thick at times and it can be pretty hard to get through. Example in point, the film opens with Nicolas Cage and friends somewhere in the Arctic Circle looking for a ship that was lost hundreds of years ago. Based on the last known location of the boat, according to documents, and deducing the rate of ice accumulation and movement, the boat should be just about here they say. Of course it only takes Nic Cage one dig with the shovel before he hits something. And what does he find? Well it's the ship's bell with the name of the missing boat clearly labelled. How convenient. Most would probably think it woud be more difficult to find under all that snow and ice. Well you'd be wrong! And I hear there's going to be a sequel. Shudder. 6/10

Movie Review: Saw

2 men wake up, trapped in a small, dirty room. They are chained to the walls. A bloody, dead body lies between them. They have to get out. Very interesting premise to the movie and it is done pretty well. A little too heavy on the flashbacks though. Sometimes they are so long that you forget about the protagonists completely. I also found it a little difficult to accept Cary Elwes in a serious, dramatic role. He's from Princess Bride and Men in Tights for gooness sake. I always wanted to laugh at him. 7/10

Movie Review: American Splendor

Based on the real comic book writer Harvey Pekar's comic books and life, this is a great film. With comic book frames neatly integrated into the film it really synthesizes the two mediums well. I hadn't heard of Pekar before this film but he is a really interesting person, as are the assorted zanies he knows who worked their way into his comics and this movie. Definitely worth seeing. 8/10

Bunch of movie reviews

Movie Review: The Long and Short of It
This is a short film presented on the Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers DVD, extended version. It was directed by Sean Astin (Sam) and the cast and crew are all various people from the LOTR production. The story is very simple, with no dialogue, about a very tall man and a very short woman helping an average sized man put a poster on a wall. Then they all board a bus together. That's it. I don't consider it a film but more of an exercise in film making. Probably very good practice for the crew in terms of film making, but not very rewarding for an audience to see. In fact I enjoyed the short 'making of' video a lot more. 5/10


Movie Review: Triplets of Belleville

This is a really bizarre French/Canadian animation about an old woman, an old dog, and her son who is kidnapped during the Tour de France race. There is absolutely no dialogue and the story is told entirely by music and images. And what strange images they are, this is no Disney flic. Everyone is drawn in very distorted shapes. The cyclists have gigantic, muscular legs. The dog is basically all muzzle. Centainly interesting for anyone who likes animation. 6/10

Movie Review: Music of the Heart

Meryl Streep, Angela Basset and a fine cast of kids do a great job in this based-on-a-true-story film about a music teacher who turns around inner-city kids' lives with violins. Even I felt a tear swelling as the kids got to play in Carnegie Hall with all the violin professionals. And this was all done by Wes Craven, the master of horror. You have to see it to believe it. 9/10

Movie Review: The Flintstones

Many years after the fact I have finally watched this movie. Got it from a used DVD shop for 400 yen. Hopefully I can get half that back when I return it. What a waste, this movie has a great cast and it is all wasted. John Goodman and Rock Moranis are hilarious, and it even has Twin Peaks' Kyle MClachlan to boot. They certainly spent lots of money on the production so it's a mystery as to why they didn't care about the script. The story is awful, and a 3 year could predict the ending. Not even die hard Flintstones fan will like this stone age mockery. I just hope the big screen version of the Simpsons, coming soon, is nothing like this. 4/10